The Smile I Hide
by Hiei449
Summary: Heaven is suppose to be the perfect place to live...but boring as hell! Konzen and the others are bored, but the meeting of four goddesses changes everything. Until the day they disappeared.
1. Prologue

Ok, so this is my remake of my really bad story called Hidden Scars. I kinda looked back on it and can't believe I wrote that badly. EW! I don't like where I was going with the first one, so I'm gonna try something different. The first part will take place in the heavens when Sanzo and the others were still gods. I hope you guys will like this.

Prologue

Flawless...ideal...supreme...pure...utopia. No matter what word you use, they all mean the same thing: perfect. And that's what this place was. It was a paradise like no other. A place where we can look down on the people of the lower world and laugh at their flaws and troubles of everyday life. Helping them with situations out of their worldly control was one of our rare major interference. It keeps our entertainment alive and prospering. This place was what we gods call home...and I hate it.

Looking out the window, I see everyone walking by. Laughing and enjoying the peaceful life created here, they pass me by. The thought of being mortal never crosses their minds. They never seem to think about how wonderful the lives of those who inhabit the lower world really are. I envy those people. Living day to day with all the problems that we never seem to have. They hurt one another and are hurt by one another, gaining knowledge and wisdom from their experiences. They age as time goes by, while we never seem to age a day.

I love the lower world. I love to read their words from books, dwell in the fantasies created by their minds, and the joy of finding those booksis simply sublime. If I want a book, it's here. There's no trying to find it and instead coming across many other books during your search. Then when you do find that book, the joy of reading it is so much better. I look down in my lap at a leather-bound book I want so badly to read, but I wont. "I Hated Heaven" was it's name. As tempted as the title sounds, I want to enjoy it like the humans in the lower world do.

My eyes turn down the hallway I sit in. Someone is coming, but they change direction once they see me. I am so different that everyone seems to think that coming near me may make them different too. I don't blame them. My hair is dark as night flowing down to my waist and my piercing eyes are a shocking bright hazel. My skin is pale and I don't think any of Them have seen me smile. I hide my thin frame under the black and sliver kimono with the red under kimono that matched the beads that hang around my neck and off one shoulder to my arm. My bamboo sandals lay at my feet, having taken them off to put my legs up on the seat. Looking at me you'd never know what it is I really do.

"Izumi!" Looking up I see one of the only people who know me inside out. Hair as dark and as long as mine but with bright almond shaped green eyes. She was slightly taller than me, and she never hid her tan skin. Her skinny frame stood out well in her jeans. The beads on the end of one strand of hair matched her blue midriff shirt quite well. It always seemed to amuse me that instead of wearing the strings of prayer beads, she would take them apart and use the beads in her hair or weave belts like the one she wore now. Her heals clicked on the floor as she ran towards me, hand waving in the air. It was a surprise anyone could even run like she could in heals.

Kimi was her name, which means she who is without equal. She lived up to her name. There was no one else here who was like her. As beautiful as she looked, she had quite a mouth on her and a sharp tongue to go with it. They hadn't found anyone who could out drink her yet, even when she had a head-start on the booze. She was wild and out of control, tended to stay away from everyone else, and chose to befriend me out of all people. Like me, she hated being here. She wanted to experience the life and love that only humans could have.

As Kimi approached, I noticed that she wasn't smiling as she normally did if she was here to just be around me. The lack of a smile on Kimi's face meant we had another job. Kimi's job and mine usually tied together. Though we only really interfere with humans when it's out of their hands, sometimes the people of the lower world needed someone's help, and only by those who were willing to do it, which was few. But finding them in time was hard. We could only help those whose prayer we heard.

Many call me the protector of children and child birth. I hated to see any child in distress or in harm's way. What angered me more was that I usually saw the danger was from their own parents. At times, it was not only the child in danger, but the mother as well. That was where Kimi came in. Most of the people thought of her as the guardian of women. You'd never believe how many women are put into danger. Out of those, only a third ask for our help. The rest stopped believing in gods a long time ago.

A while later, I returned with Kimi. It took a little longer than we thought. A father whose wife was pregnant with another man's child. He had beaten her badly, to the point where her last words was the prayer that we heard. We did the only thing we could do: give punishment. A life for a life. Sometimes it was hard doing our jobs. Sometimes we just couldn't get there in time. Sometimes...it really hurt.

"Izumi!" Looking up I see Sakura running towards me. Sakura was so small she looked like a child, but she was more mature than you'd think. Dark brown hair in braided pigtails hung down from the back of her head, a cute style to match the big blue eyes that always smiled with joy. Her small frame was wrapped in a sleeveless kimono styled shirt with a short skirt. It was sort of silly since she wore a set of boots from the lower world. Sakura mean cherry blossoms.

Many people thought of her as the protector of animals. Whenever she saw a sick creature, she made sure that she would nurse it back to health. Over time, the number of her animal friends accumulated quite a bit. She had one for every letter of the alphabet and more. It actually became quite useful when they returned the favor by helping her when she needed it.

Following her, although at a slower pace, was Kohaku. She stood just as tall as me though a bit older. She loved wearing her sleeveless red shirt that zipped up the front, stopping just under her breasts. It matched well with her low rider jeans and black haori. She was more traditional in a sense. Though that didn't really count for her blonde streaked, red hair, which looked stunning when matched with her bright blue eyes. Silver jewelry hung everywhere from her body. You'd think you could hear her from a mile away with all of it, but she could sneak up behind you without making a sound. Scared the shit outta even me once or twice.

When translated, Kohaku means amber. It was definitely a good name for her. She loved to play with fire. It fascinated her to no end. The way the flames moved and the different colors you can create just by changing the type of fuel or intensity of the heat. Over time, she learned to create and control the hot flames. It became somewhat of a game for her at times. For that, many gave her the nickname goddess of fire.

It seemed that without meaning to, we four goddesses have been given our own nicknames. Seemed ironic that everyone knew who we were, but at the same time they didn't. No one knew that the reason the four of us could get along so well was that we all had one thing in common. We wanted to be mortal, and we knew just how to do it. We were going to become mortal and live in the lower world. We would live our lives as we wanted... and have a damn good time doing it.

Ok, that's the prologue. Please review! The more reviews the faster the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 1

Finally! Sorry it took so long! I had a HUGE writer's block and had to get my friend to help me. Thank you! Finally, after a long wait, it's the remake of the Hidden Scars series. Hopefully this one will turn out a little better than the last one.

Chapter 1

A yawn crept over me though it was only mid-day. The sun was out as usual, shining down on my desk where piles of documents sat just waiting to be reviewed and signed by my pen, which was currently being balanced on my upper lip. It was scary sometimes what boredom could do to even gods like myself. I normally wouldn't be caught dead playing with a pen. I sighed as the pen fell to the ground with a small clatter. Sometimes the life of a god could be so boring. Most of the time, I spent my days signing off document after document, doing the same thing over and over again until it became routine, but having to do it for years...that was just punishment.

The only difference now was that I had Goku around. The little brat was loud and a wild animal, but he stirred up trouble that was sometimes welcomed by some of the gods here in heaven, including myself. It was something different than the usual routines of others greeting each other and going about their usual activities. Right now the little chimp was lying on his stomach on the floor practicing his reading with a book that he probably pilfered from Tenpo's library. It wouldn't be long before he got bored with it and tried to drag me outside to play or something.

Looking out the window, the sky was clear without a cloud in sight...as usual. The birds in the trees were singing without a care in the world, as if they didn't do it every single boring day up here. The life of a god could be so dull. Sometimes I'd wish that someone, anyone, would stir up some kind of trouble. Just once, I wish rain would fall and break up the shining monotony of the day, making everything all dark and dreary like so many days in the human world, and ruin the perfect smiles and greetings and manners and polite insults that happened so often that you could pretty much predict what everyone was going to do before they did it. My eyes wandered around the dull office that I saw every single day and then landed on the small messy area around Goku. He looked like he could never be bored with that book in front of his face. Glancing away again I scowled darkly at the sky.

'Rain you stupid clouds!' I yelled, glaring at the white puffy clouds floating across the eternally blue sky. 'Just one day! One day of rain is all I ask!'

"Ne, Konzen?" I blinked and turned to where Goku's voice came from only to almost be nose to nose with the little monkey who had decided to sit on my desk with his legs crossed, carefully keeping his legs away from the stack of papers. I took a deep breath so as not to give into the temptation of shoving him off the desk and to the floor in irritation for him constantly sitting on my desk no matter how many times I've told him not to.

"What?" I snapped. He ducked his head reflexively as if anticipating me loosing my temper and hitting him.

"Could we go outside please? I'm getting bored and you aren't doing anything. Besides. You can't sit in here all day else your joins will get all creaky." I had to grudgingly admit that he had a good point but I hit him anyway for that joints comment.

"Ow! What was that for!" he cried rubbing his head and jumping off the desk quickly to avoid any more blows.

"I told you that the next time you sat on my desk that there would be a penalty for it, baka saru." I said getting out of my, admittedly comfortable, chair.

"But I didn't knock anything over this time!" He protested. I ignored him and allowed him to speed out of the room in search of whatever would relieve his boredom. I sighed as I followed him out at a much slower pace. The little monkey could be so damn hyper sometimes. I sighed again as I headed down the hall he took off in, already out of my sight. I continued walking as another god passed by me, going on about his boring life. All of the other gods and goddesses were the same. All of them were snobby and had a "mightier than thou" air about them. Sometimes it was just too much to stand.

Turning the corner, I stopped in my tracks at the sight I saw before me. There sat a woman, hair as dark as the night sky but eyes as bright as the sun. She was dressed in a black and red kimono with black prayer beads strung around her neck and shoulders, a leather bound book in her lap with her sandalwood shoes on the ground below her. Most gods wore overly bright, if not plain white, colors. And while most of the gods gave off the snobby type of personality, she seemed to be more...depressed than anything. No smile was worn upon her face nor any life in her eyes. There she sat in the sun, hands reaching towards Goku, who stood facing the woman, as though he was in a trance. Gently she touched his cheeks, her hands pale against his tan skin. It was a strange sight to see.

I had never in my life seen this woman before. I didn't know her name nor anything about her. Neither did Goku, but he walked into her outstretched arms as though he did know her. It was like an instant trust between the two. Most Gods did their best to stay clear of Goku, being that he was neither God nor mortal. Though he wasn't human, the gods looked down on him as though her were just as low, and here this god was now wrapping her arms around Goku as though he were her child.

Looking past them, I saw several Gods walking towards her. I was surprised to see them quickly change directions as they came towards her, only to stop and stare at Goku as though he had two heads. He had sat down next to her, her arms gently wrapped around him while his head lay on her shoulder, looking up at her with his usual dumb look on her face. Something about the way the gods stared at them told me that it wasn't because the woman came near Goku that they were surprised, but that he had come near the woman. It seemed as though they thought she was even lower than Goku.

As I walked towards them, Goku looked up at me with that stupid grin on his face. "Konzen! Come meet this nice lady!" The woman looked up at me with her stone cold yet bright as hell eyes. As I stood beside them, her arms dropped from Goku's shoulders, her hands folding in her lap over the book. The title read something about heaven, but her kimono covered the rest of the gold letters.

"Let's go, Goku." I said, keeping my eye on the woman. She stared back at me, her face not revealing any of her thoughts or emotions. She turned away, looking out the window to the people below.

The grin on Goku's face faded at those words. "Aw, but Konzen."

"Now, Goku," I replied, my voice becoming more stern as I turned to him. He shrinked back slightly before standing, looking back at the woman who still sat watching the gods below go about their business.

Something about this woman gave me a strange feeling. I didn't know what it was, but it bugged me to death. What rattled my cage even more was that I know nothing about this woman, but I knew where to find out. And getting information out of him also meant explaining why I needed it, which I didn't know. And just to add another link to the chain, if I didn't know then he had to dig into it till he got an answer. Which then made me very annoyed that he's digging into something to find a reason that I don't have about what's bugging me.

Later that day found me at the one place I wasn't sure I wanted to be, right in front of Tenpou's door to book central…or chaos, however you want to look at it. Normally when that idiot of a general Kenren helped him organize this place, it's complete disaster a week later. Out of all the books he could pull out of his bookshelves, why can he not put them back? It would mean less chaos and less cleaning up after him. Not to mention how much time he'd save trying to find all this stuff under the piles of books and papers. It made me wonder sometimes if he even slept sometimes. He'd be a lost cause if it weren't for Kenren, which was strange since Kenren wouldn't be general now if it weren't for Tenpou.

I sighed as I knocked on the huge doors. Even thought I didn't want to be here, Tenpou knew almost everyone here in heaven. He was the one to go to for information. "Tenpou! I know you're home! You hardly ever leave this place!" I yelled as I pushed open one of the wooden doors carefully, watching out for falling books. It took me a few minutes and a few good string of curses to get past the first obstacle of piles of books and papers. Now the only problem was finding Tenpou. Knowing him, he was engrossed in yet another war book from the lower world. What he found so interesting about the way the lower world fought was beyond anyone's understanding.

Sure enough, as soon as I located him, he looked up from a pile of books laid out around him, open to pages showing some type of wooden horse. They actually used those things? How pathetic. "Konzen, what a surprise. You never come down here unless you're being forced to. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he said, gracing me with one of his ever so pleasant smiles. Sometimes it made me wonder how he can smile. Even if it was one of the worst possible times he could smile as thought it were any normal day. Only Kenren could tell what he really felt.

"I need some information on someone." Quick and to the point. That's how I wanted to keep it, but knowing Tenpou he'd want an explanation.

"Oh? And you came to me for that information? That's a surprise, but I guess I can't pass up the chance on helping the great Konzen," he replied with a small laugh, setting his apparently very interesting book on his lap as he flipped the page. "Who is it you need information about?"

"That's the problem. I don't know who she is. Goku and I ran into her earlier today. She was sitting out on the window seats above the marketplace," I replied, not liking where I knew this would go. He hung out with Kenren too long to pick up some of his taunting tactics.

The look on Tenpou's face wasn't one I wanted to see. He stared at me with his deep green eyes as though I had two heads. "'She'? As in a woman? Konzen, the nephew of Kanzeon Bosatsu, the god who has been known to hate women, is now interesting in knowing about a woman?"

I felt my eye twitch in annoyance and I wished I had something to hit him with. A book was too hard and might knock him out, meaning I'd have to wait longer to get this information and get a lecture from him afterwards. It was just too much of a pain in the ass. "Can you help me or not?"

Chuckling a bit, Tenpou set his book aside and stood. "I think I can. What can you tell me about her? What was she wearing? Did she say anything? Did she do anything?" As he spoke, he pulled out a pen and paper, sitting down on one of the only chairs not covered by piles of papers or books.

Sighing I leaning against the side of one of those hug bookshelves, slightly afraid of having a book or two coming down on my head. "She has long black hair and bight hazel eyes. She wore a black and red kimono and had black prayer beads. She didn't say anything, hell she didn't even smile." I frowned slightly in thought as I replayed in my mind what had happened. "When Goku came over to her, it was like an instant bond between the two. We had no idea who she was, but she held Goku as though he was her child." Looking up, Tenpou was giving me that look again. That shocked yet very thoughtful look. "What?"

"Hold on," he replied, standing up and walking very quickly down the rows of bookshelves. Frowning, I followed him to find out what he was looking for. Coming around the corner, I saw him digging through a very large stack of papers on the table. After a few moments of cursing and digging, he pulled out a picture looking it over for a few moments before handing it to me. "Is this the woman you saw?"

Looking down at the picture in my hand, I was not only amazed to see the woman but also about the quality of the drawing. It was a pencil sketch, showing the woman from the chest up, a broken set of black prayer beads strung out around her neck and her kimono hanging off one shoulder. In her hand was a porcelain mask, and she held it as though she was about to put it on, looking off to the side. Just as the real thing, no smile was place upon her face. The picture held the perfect sense of depression and sadness yet the expression of complete emptiness that was held around her. In the lower corner was a signature that I couldn't make out.

"Her name is Izumi. She's known as the guardian of childbirth and children, but that's all that's really known about her." Looking down at the picture, Tenpou sighed slightly. "No one understands why she and her three comrades would cut themselves off to the rest of the gods but would go out of their way to help the people of the lower worlds."

Staring into the eyes of the woman in the sketch, I became intrigued. A woman who cut herself off from the rest of the world and was willing to help the people of the lower world more than any of the other gods do. She was a woman no one knew anything about, and that meant she was the only one that held the information I needed to satisfy this feeling that bugged me so much. This was going to be a major pain in the ass.

Yay! Finished! Boy did that take a while. I hope you guys like it! Thanks so much for reading! Please review!


	3. Chapter 2

Finally had a chance to sit down and write a chapter!! Nursing school take up WAY too much time and is WAY too stressful. I recommend it for the pay, but if you're afraid of gaining weight or can't handle a busy schedule or stress, don't take the class!! Anyone else, go for it. But enough about my class, on to the story!!!

Chapter 2

The sun was bright and warm as usual, though there were clouds in the sky for once. It was a nice change to the usual clear, sunny skies that normally graced us. Every once in a while we'd get a stronger than normal breeze that pushed some clouds by, but that was rare.

I always thought it weird that the clouds here were pure white, never a mixture of white and gray like they did in the lower world. To me, the lower world had it made. The beautiful women they were free to love, the flaws of a flower that makes it more beautiful than the rest, the way the sky during the sunset never looks the same way twice.

My favorite thing about the lower world was how well they made their drinks. Sipping the sake from the small cup in my hand, I savored the taste on my tongue. A smile lingered on my lips as the petals from the sakura blossoms of the tree I currently sat in fell like snow flakes around me. Here in heaven is seemed as though they never ended. Even as the petals continued to fall, there never seemed to be any fewer flowers in the trees nor did it seem like you had to rake up piles and piles of petals from the ground. It almost seemed like at the end of each day, the petals on the ground reattached themselves to the trees. I'll have to ask Tenpou about that later.

I sighed as I brought the small cup back to my lips again. The smell of the sake alone was addicting. If anyone found out I had it, I'd be hearing about it for a week. Another thing I liked about the lower world is that they were not confined to such silly rules as no alcoholic drinks, no smoking, no public disturbances, hell no talking while the emperor is talking! Could it get any worse? And don't even get me started on the women. Here, they're so proper, stuck up, and boring as all hell. They wore the same type of traditional clothes and used the same type of done up hairstyle every day of every week. You couldn't tell one woman from the next!!

Blinking, I looked around the area, hearing the faint sound of someone breathing harshly, as though running through the field of sakura trees. I watched as a woman with long black hair flowing behind her as she ran under me, weaving a labyrinth of a path through the many tree trunks. Not too far behind her were several women following at a somewhat slower pace. One seemed to have some type of comb and brush in her hands while another was carrying the worst looking kimono I had ever seen. The last one had a set of red prayer beads and a pair of those hard as hell to walk in shoes.

"Kimi-sama! Please! Those clothes aren't appropriate to wear!" The first woman yelled as she looked around for the running woman, apparently named Kimi.

I watched as Kimi climbed one of the trees and hid within the many blossoms. It was a surprise that she could even run let alone climb in those heals. The women searching for her ran straight under the tree she hid in, still calling her name and looking for her. I smirked and hoped down off my post walking over towards the tree she occupied. She was kneeled down on a branch, looking out between the branches in the direction the women had disappeared in.

Up close, she was quite attractive. While most people had paler than hell skin, hers was gorgeously tan, contrasting well with her long black hair. Her well toned muscles could be seen across her stomach with her low slung, worn out jeans and her midriff blue shirt with matching beads in her hair and belt.

"I think they're gone," I said, smirking a bit as she jumped, startled. I was surprised when she looked at me with bright green eyes. Most gods had either blue or black eyes. It wasn't often you found someone with a set of green eyes like that.

She blinked at me as though I had two heads. "I guess so," she said as she climbed back down from the tree, dusting herself off.

"So, may I ask what it is they wanted from you?" I asked while taking out a pack of cigarettes from my pocket and pulling one out.

"Apparently I'm not dressed very appropriately in their opinion and they wanted to cover me up. Mind if I bum a smoke?" she asked, putting two fingers up to her pale lips.

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "It's not often I find a fellow smoker," I said as I held the pack out to her.

She smirked as she took one. "My friend's always telling me about how I should quit." I held a light out to her. Lighting her cigarette, she smiled at me. "Thanks. Name's Kimi."

"Kenren," I replied, lighting my own. The smoke felt good as it filled my lungs. I watched her as she took a nice long drag of her own cigarette, savoring the taste and feel of it, letting the nicotine run through her veins. She let out the smoke in a long breath, her shoulders relaxing some and an arm coming around to wrap around her stomach loosely. There was a pleased glint in her eyes when she opened them, the green seeming to deepen more and become almost impossibly bright.

"So," she said. "Kenren. You have an affinity for the lower world's goods, too?"

"One could say that," I replied, letting my cigarette hang loosely from my lips.

She smirked as she leaned her back against the tree, cigarette hanging from her long fingers. "You must be very good at keeping it a secret considering you store your sake in an unmarked bottle."

My eyebrows raised in yet another surprise, my own smirk playing across my lips as I pulled the said bottle from my belt and poured a small class. "Either you have x-ray vision or you've heard of me from some of my friends."

"Actually I could smell it. It's one of my favorite drinks from the lower world. And it's best when drank with a cigarette," she replied, taking another long drag to emphasize her point.

I put my arm up on the tree above her head and leaned in close to her, offering her the poured glass. "Why I do believe you're right. Care to share with me?" She smirked again and reached up towards the glass, but instead took a hold of my hand. Placing her lips on the glass she tilted my hand to tilt the glass. Clever. I could feel blood rushing south as she licked away the small drops that still clung to her lips.

"Mm. I haven't had pure sake in a while. It's a taste of flawed perfection," she replied, licking the rim of the glass with the tip of her tongue before letting my hand go.

"I don't think I've ever had someone call sake flawed perfection." I poured another glass drinking it down myself.

"It's what I love about the lower world. The flaws of their world make it that much more beautiful." She took another drag of her cigarette, savoring the taste before stubbing the rest out against the trunk of the tree. "I gotta run. My friends are expecting me."

As I watched her walk away, she paused only to look over her shoulder at me. "I'll see you around, Kenren," she said before continuing to walk away with a slight sway to her hips. I had to smirk as I took another sip of flawed perfection.

Yay!!! Finally!! It's done!!!! I am soooo sorry for taking so long in getting this up!!! I hope you enjoy and that you'll review and keep up with my stories!! The more reviews the more motivated I get!!


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